I decided to become a single mother by choice. I wasn't ready to stop dating.

I've always known I wanted to be a mother. Since I was young, I’d always envisioned myself raising a child — I’d have dreams about their first steps and high school graduation that felt tangible.

But by the time I turned 35, I had yet to meet a partner I wanted to start a family with. I made the decision then that I didn’t want to wait — I wanted to become a single mother by choice (or SMBC, as it is often referred to in support groups online). That meant I would have to go through the grueling process of fertility treatments to try to conceive (TTC in those same online forums) using a sperm donor. I wasn’t ready, however, to give up the possibility of finding the love of my life.

I feel secure that I'm emotionally and financially capable of being a single mother. It's empowering to choose a path to parenthood on my own terms rather than waiting for the perfect person to manifest before starting a family. I don't believe I need a partner to be an amazing mom. And neither do many other single women who are also choosing this path to parenthood. As of 2023, 40% of all babies in the U.S . were born to unmarried women, with around 7.3 million American women raising children on their own .